Dented spirits..

Today I was looking forward to the presentations by 4S1. However, to my horror, one group forgot to bring their mahjong paper and the other brought it home accidentally because...well, I won't bother to explain...Despite all my reminders, they still forgot. The whole incident just left me angry, tired and dejected. Nothing I have been doing seems right. They don't seem to appreciate anything I do. Lately, I have been scolding them a lot (all to do with sloppy work and indiscipline of course) and I don't blame them for hating me. I never imagined I would be facing problems with this class. It's like the ice has not been broken or what? There's this particular girl who annoys me with her lackadasical attitude. Perhaps she comes from a well-to-do family and she thinks she can do what she likes. Coincidentally, her Mandarin teacher also told me about her negative attitude. Perhaps she is over confident with her English.

When I was first given this class, I was very enthusiastic- I thought they had such potentials..and I was there to help unleash their potentials...There were moments in class when I asked simple questions and there was this dead silence...or the same people will answer the questions and the rest couldn't be bothered. Then the other day I got angry because two girls talked incessantly from the beginning to the end of the class! Maybe I can write a story entitled "A week of anger" or something of that nature! Any teacher would be stupid not to reprimand such behaviour. But they took it well. I met them outside the corridor and explained what I didn't like about their behaviour and they could accept it.

Sometimes I wonder what these students expect of me. Follow their whims and fancy? Tolerate their forgefulness? Ignore the books they don't hand in? (I never get the full number of books these days anyway) Ignore the corrections they don't do? What kind of teacher will I be? Perhaps, they will be better off with another teacher next year as they never appreciated me anyway. I am just a figure who walks in and out of the classroom and I've probably not touched them in any way...Perhaps I tried too hard? Maybe I should just let go- enter class like a robot and leave like a robot- no feelings attached. No need to 'connect' with my students -then maybe everyone will be happy.