Thursday, 15 May 2014

Another phase?

Going through another phase again? No!! Yes!! Feeling bored with routine and trying to break that routine. Say what? Another project? New Deal? Integrity? Sports Day? Meeting (again?) Well sock them all! This hols am going somewhere nice by the beach :) And I'm going to read, read and read the many books I've bought...I have Terengganu and Sarawak in mind- palm trees, white beaches and the sound of water lapping against the shore. Bliss.

Little me had a discussion with the higher ups about some pressing matters just the other day. Truth be told, I'm feeling a little demotivated at the workplace. I'd like to play a bigger role but somehow some people think I don't have to be given certain responsibilities. It's not me to ask for privileges. Some have this idea that I'm 'overqualified' to be in school. Once this officer told me that I shouldn't be in school but in the PPD or the JPN. "Saya sangat hormatkan hajah"...whatever that means. What's the whole point of the GC scheme? Wasn't it to alleviate the status of teachers? (memartabatkan profesion perguruan) Little did I realise reaching this level would mean that I was 'overqualified' to be sent for courses, attend meetings etc. Regret? No. Pissed off rather.

Alhamdulillah for giving me that love for teaching without which I'd have whittled much earlier. It was with this intention (niat) that I applied for the GC scheme and this same intention has kept me going for 26 years. I truly believe that if your intention is wrong something will backfire.

The reward in teaching is seeing your students succeed.

But some things have been a tad ridiculous. To have come this far and to still be 'begging' about my timetable and a bit of space is an insult. I need a little respect. O.K respect has to be earned you say...but how about just giving it? 26 years into the teaching profession and having reached the max, I still have to ask for your respect? Makes no sense at all. It's not about throwing my weight around silly. It's about a little acknowledgement. Everyone needs a little acknowledgement time and again. A little pat on the shoulder.

Farahin and Faqih came a visiting today!

Then for some time I've had to deal with someone who thinks I would like be an SISC + but did not get it. Haih...if I wanted to be a coach so badly I would have gone all the way to the PPD and JPN. I just have to offer myself and the rest will be taken care off. I believe I have what it takes to be a coach but it's not me to jump into a profession just because I am tired of meetings, marking, sports events,  etc. etc. (the stuff schools are made of). Again it boils down to your intention ('niat') and if the intention is virtuous, you'll be richly rewarded now and hereafter.

Perhaps I'm going through a phase because I'm not young anymore. Granted there are certain activities that are unsuitable for me and the young ones would definitely do a better job at. Perhaps I've been through it all and some people think I shouldn't be doing the same thing. Perhaps they think I should take a back seat now that there are many young ones. Perhaps they just want a fresh face and not this old woman again. Perhaps they just want me to enjoy my salary! Aha! Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! (Doris Day)

Those who can Do Those who can do more TEACH


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